Now an occupation has always been a concern for women more than men, but both sexist can respond to this.
Women always say if he only had a job!!! Now if he does get one there still might be a complaint to what he is doing. Does it really matter what occupation he has if he is still bringing in money?
What occupation WILL NOT work for you in a relationship? (Both male and female question)
It only matters what he's doing if he's not making steady money. He could be working at Mickey D's for minimum wage but as long as he's bringing home a paycheck every week or two, it's legal, and honorable then I'm happy. I don't care how much he makes. Occupations, and I use that term EXTREMELY loosly, that WILL NOT work for me are "hustlin," stripping (male dancers or escorts), and straight commission jobs (pyramid scemes, etc.)
ReplyDeletei beg to differ lets be honest here mickey D's is one of those jobs that people expect 16 year olds through 18 to do...i remember working at KFC my first job at 16 and seeing an older gentlemen who was probably in his 30's working the kitchen and i honestly said what is he still doing here? now you may not expect him to be a drug dealer but you dont want him to be a McDonalds employee working in the kitchen especially if you are a women with a more distinguished profession. Now although i dont necessarily agree with my man having a anything to do with stripping as a profession it is a legit job for which they can not get arrested or charged with something for it....
ReplyDeleteI agree the typr of job that your partner has shouldn't matter. but let's face it this is fact only for a women who is so independent she doesn't look to her partner providing for her or bringing home the bacon. WHY? Simply because she gets everything for herself, she provides for herself. She doesn't depend on a man for his money to provide. This woman Ms Independent she will never care about what job he has. In fact he can even be unemployed and if she likes him she will sometimes take care of him. She doesnt look for his earnings as a way to validate her secuirty in the situation. WHY? Simply because she do not need him to complete her or meet her halfway. This is the number one mistake for these types of woman. Stepping into a relationship with the superwoman mentality. It is okay to let someone help you and treat you good. it's okay to let someone else take the job position for a while. How can a man be a man in the relationship? If in the beginning everything he needs that makes him a man in the relationship is absent. Due to lack of expectations from the woman.
ReplyDeleteNow as for a woman who may be a little needy and doesn't have it all together for herself. She will care what job her man has. Simply because she knows or feels she doesn't have to do it on her own. Therefore she looks for a guy who can bring something to the table. perhaps the more he brings to the table the more happy she is that she doesn't have put nothing down on the. Then she gets comfortable which creates the issue of money making. Now he does matter what job he has and how much money he makes. now she becomes dependent on this man to provide for her. At any moment when he doesn't provide enough or comes up short this makes her angry or gives her something to argue with him about. This is the first bad desicion that many men make. Choosing a woman in the first place who is not able to provide or take care of herself on her own. A woman doesn't make up one day and forgets how to take care herself. the problem was there in the beginning. She didn't know how to do it in the first place.
For an established woman yes she will not settle for a man who works at a fast food job making minimum wage. WHy? Simply because she is a career woman looking for someone to equally bring the same 100% to the table. She is well established therefore she is looking for a well established match. Intellectually, because she maybe mature and seeks a mature partner. Physically, of course he has to be attractive. Financially, because together they can no doubt about it take care of all the finances. However let me reiterate this is what she seeks for a serious committed relationship. So his status does matter. However if she is just looking for a fling or funtime, or sex than whatever the man she choose does not have to be best job or make the biggest bucks. She will settle and stick around if what she wants and is getting at the moment is good.
Depending on the type of woman that is in the relationship will depend on whether she cares about him being a money maker. Depending on the type of relationship the woman is seeking at the time also depends on whether she prefers a money maker or not.
I wouldn't accept my man being a stripper, or a drug dealer. I also wouldn't be happy if he decided to go to war without discussing it with me. If we were in a serious relationship.
ReplyDeleteIn a relationship each individual does represent the other. Whether or not she is established it is the principle that really matters. Your mates choice in a job reflects his position in life currently as well. i feel as thought woman who do not care what job he holds is naive because when the rent bills and other expenses aside from taking care of your partner comes up your pockets better be SUFFICIENT because she will start nagging about how much less you bring in from your once appreciated McDonald's job. those who do not require the best from their mate in my opinion do not expect much of themselves. Only on special situations like convicted felons, or special needs that whatever job is there they may take, but for those guys with no excuse should be reaching for higher steps on the ladder.
ReplyDeleteWhile i respect both of your opinions, i have a few discrepancies. Gentae, u said on one hand that a woman who has all her stuff together and can take care of herself is demasculating the man because he feels like he not needed. But on the other hand, you stated that, "This is the first bad desicion that many men make. Choosing a woman in the first place who is not able to provide or take care of herself on her own." so which is it? And I dont know why I, as a woman, have to stroke his ego. Thas ludacris to me, and will never happen in my relationship. I do agree however with your point on how he needs to match your flyness in alot of aspects. But you are supposed to make each other better. You're supposed to be pushing each other to achieve. I think it's only when she doesn't APPRECIATE or ACKNOWLEGE that 15kt. princess cut yellow diamond he bought for you (that you could have bought yourself) that you begin to have problems.
ReplyDeleteErline, i disagree with you as well because its the same money whether it comes from his Micky D's check or your Fortune 500 company check. SB:McDonald's is mulit-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION, and you have to start somewhere. But if he's 30 and just starting there, yes we may have a problem.
But like I said before, you're both supposed to make each other better. I work for the state right now, makin some iight money, if al worked fast food and we lived together, he may not beable to help wit the rent, but he can do the cable, utilites, phone bill, and we go 50/50 (IF) we had kids... and to me, thas how we'd work it out... does that make me naive because I love this man and have found a way to work with what we have? Absolutely not.
Everybody is DIFFERENT. Every situation IS DIFFERENT! I don't think that ANY of us can truly answer this question in ALL COMPLETE and TOTAL HONESTY , unless we've been there....
Well i have been there in some sense where i dealt with someone who's job was not as full filling than what he could be doing. Yes I do think you are naive if you find something to just "make it work" rather than long term adjustments. People often situate themselves in situations right now rather than what will come in the future. I think things have become so disconnected in the world of business because people are not in there right place. You work for the state correct? And i understand that there are more than enough state jobs out there that your man can also obtain. For him to settle and not push to make himself better is mind boggling to me. If in the event he had to with no other alternative to work at a lower paying job being and adult that is fine but once again for those with no excuse work your way up a bigger ladder where your intelligence and skills are more useful.
ReplyDeletei dont think its as easy as your making it sound... YES, there are SOME who settle, but there are ALOT of men who just can't live they're dream RIGHT NOW. Thas not to say that they will stop trying, it just means that for now, with kids and bills to worry about; they HAVE to make it work. I have applied for SOOO many jobs in the past few months inlcuding State jobs and especially with this economy and in New Jersey they are not hiring ANYONE! and if they are 10 times out of 10 it's because of a connection that person has to upper management, i can almost GUARANTEE that... but alas, i think we'll have to agree to disagree on this topic... u made some good points though. GREAT DISCUSSION!!!
ReplyDeletesb: where do your questions come from?